Killer Labcoats From The Planet Flamingo
by SnarkySnark
Summary: My 2nd House Parody. Rated T for language.


Killer Labcoats from the Planet Flamingo

Author: SnarkySnark

Rating: T, for language

Disclaimer: Okay, I don't own House. I don't, okay? It's so hard to think about…-cries-

---

Chase: Lupus.

House: What?

Chase: The patient has Lupus.

House: Um…we don't have a patient.

Cameron: I'm hungry.

House: Then go get something from the cafeteria! Jesus, what is _up_ with you people today?

Narrator: Suddenly, a labcoat burst into the room, and even though labcoats are inanimate objects, it somehow managed to move on its own and talk.

King Labcoat: I'm tired of you doctors always wearing us. What do you think we are, some sort of clothing?

Foreman: Um…yes.

King Labcoat: Well we're not! We're magical creatures from the planet Flamingo!

Chase: Yeah, I don't think that's an actual planet.

King Labcoat: Enough! You will pay for this! I'll cast a spell on all of you, then you'll-

House: Hey! I never even _wear_ a labcoat!

King Labcoat: Yes, but you threw away Bob.

House: Who the hell is Bob?

King Labcoat: Bob was my son. Since you threw him away, your curse will be a bit worse than the rest.

House: There's really no way I can win in this, huh?

King Labcoat: No, there is not. But now, I shall curse all of you. Cameron, Chase, Foreman, Wilson, House, and that floosie I saw in the clinic.

Foreman: You mean Cuddy?

House: Zing!

King Labcoat: Whatever. Prepare to pay for all you've done to the Labcoat race!

MDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMD

Narrator: The six doctors all woke up a few hours later on the floor of Cuddy's office. Their heads pounded, and they couldn't remember their encounter with the Labcoat King.

Chase: Oww…my head hurts.

Cameron: We know, Chase. That's what the narrator just said.

Foreman: Wait, who's the Labcoat King?

Cameron: I don't know. Let's just get back to work.

Narrator: As the doctors got up from the floor, they realized they were all a bit…different.

Cuddy: Oh my God! My boobs are gone! Nooooooo! -cries hysterically-

Wilson: Hey, at least you aren't part unicorn.

House: Okay, people. Just shut up, and maybe we can-

Chase: Um…House? Where are you?

House: I'm right here, you dipshit.

Foreman: Are you pulling a prank on us, House?

Cameron: Hey, I think House is invisible! -pokes air-

House: Ow! Quit poking me!

Chase: Well, there you go. Now can someone please help me? I appear to be some sort of fish…

House: Eh. I don't feel like it.

Chase: -pouts-

Cameron: Fish can't pout, Chase.

Chase: Yeah, well fish can't talk either, and I'm doing a whole lot of that.

Wilson: Okay, Chase. Shut up.

Foreman: You got TOLD!

House: Fo shizzle. Let's go to the—OH MY GOD! FOREMAN, WHAT THE HELL IS ON YOUR FACE?!

Foreman: What? Oh no! My face, my beautiful face! -cries-

Chase: Seriously, dude. You've got purple blobs all over your forehead.

Cameron: Hey, no one's paying attention to _me_ and _my_ problems…

House: No one cares about your problems, Cameron. You're just pretty.

Cameron: HOW DARE YOU!

House: What, you don't want to be pretty?

Cameron: Don't play stupid, House! You just called me an aardvark!

Wilson: Well. Okay then, I guess Cameron's lost it.

Chase: Hey Cameron, you just grew horns.

Cameron: Are you calling me fat?!

Chase: …

Cuddy: My boobs! My boobs are gone! Oh, the horror! Eeek!

House: Cuddy, shut up.

Cuddy: I'm still pretty, right? I'm pretty! I miss my cleavage! Oh, Veronica!

Foreman: Um…'Veronica'?

Cuddy: Yes, I named my cleavage Veronica Betty Sue Cuddy. But now she's gone! Oh, Veronica! Why?

WHY?

Wilson: -giggles-

House: Hey, what was that?

Narrator: Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light. King Labcoat appeared.

King Labcoat: So, have you learned your lesson? You should never cross the labcoat race.

Cuddy: CLEAVAGE!

King Labcoat: Alrighty then.

Chase: So, can you get us back to normal now?

King Labcoat: -turns Chase into sushi-

Wilson: Ooh! Sushi! -eats colleague-

King Labcoat: Okay, fine. But only because you resorted to cannibalism.

Wilson: It's not cannibalism! He's a fish! A FISH!

King Labcoat: -rolls eyes- Whatever. Just hold on...

MDMDMDMDMDMDMDMD

Narrator: The doctors woke up a few hours later…

Chase: Cool! I'm not a fish! Hey, wait…why am I missing my left arm?

Wilson: …Sorry.

Cameron: Hey! I have a man's body!

Foreman: -snickers-Hey wait, I have boobs!

Cuddy: My cleavage! She's still not here! Oh, Veronica! WHY?!

end

House: Hey! This story isn't done! I have a chick's body! And as entertaining as this could be, I still-

Narrator: I _said_, END.

House: Oh no you didn't.

END

A/n: Wasn't that delightful? You see, the reason I write parodies is because I'm terrible at writing actual serious stories. So, expect more to come.

Oh, and also, I am fully aware that the labcoats didn't actually kill anyone. This is just the title that sucked less than the others I thought up.


End file.
